Mother of the Bride - The Perfect Plan

Mother of The Bride

The day a daughter gets engaged is surely one of the most exciting and proud moments of a mother’s life. As the mother of the bride, you’ll no doubt be thrilled at the idea of getting everything in motion to prepare the perfect day for your daughter. It’s a lot of responsibility, and a huge task — but with careful planning and a tactful approach, you can help elevate some of the burden from the bride and groom to be. After all, that’s a mother’s job!

Preparation is key, so take a look at our mother of the bride tips below to get started.

Stage One:

Goal: Lay the ground work
You’ll want to start early as there will be so many different ideas floating around. You need to help the bride and groom’s ideas meet in the middle, without getting too caught up in your own ideas of what the perfect day ought to look like. Here are the steps you’ll want to plan 12 months before the wedding.


  • Buy yourself a mother of the bride wedding planner. No doubt your daughter will be keeping records of all her planning, but backups are always recommended! Keep your own notebook, either physically or digitally, to keep track of the process on your side too.
  • Assist with the nitty-gritty points of the guest list. You’ll probably be the port of call for a number of guest addresses and contact details, but you’ll also have the task of trimming down the guest list as needed.
  • Scout venues. Venues book up very quickly, so this has to take priority. Booking the venue is also a smart move because it can help pin down a suitable theme that matches the building.
  • Book a little celebration! It shouldn’t be so much hassle that your daughter ends up stressed and unhappy. Let her unwind, or more accurately, help her to with a nice day out to celebrate the true meaning of her engagement — a celebration of love, no matter what venue or dress or cake she orders! Maybe the two of you could go on a little spa day or perhaps a little afternoon tea to celebrate her engagement.

Stage Two:

Goal: Establish Yourself as Point of Contact
Chances are, as the mother of the bride, you’re going to become the point of contact for many vendors. At this point, probably around the nine-months-to-go mark, you’ll be dealing with florists, photographers, and catering.


  • Assist with wedding dress shopping. The best thing you can do here, as a mum and as the Mother of the Bride, is attend but don’t say ‘no’ to your daughter’s choice of dress. The last thing she needs is to feel insecure or doubt her choice if she has her heart set on her perfect dress. Even if you love a different style, agree with her final choice and make her feel as fantastic about it as you can!
  • Contact the photographer. The wedding day might seem a while away yet, but if you contact the photographer sooner, you’ll be able to build a rapport, ensure they know what your daughter and her groom-to-be want, and book them.
  • Sort out the menu. Like with the photographer, you’ll want to get your caterer sorted too. Same reasons — this gives you enough time to communicate the wishes of the bride and groom, and to organise a menu that works for everyone.
  • Consider the florist. As in the last two points, it’s all about making sure they know what is needed and to ensure you’re booking the right person for the job — you’ll have plenty of time to find somewhere else if needs be.
Stage Three:

Goal: Get things ordered and get yourself sorted!
At around five to six months to go, you’ll want to start really nailing down the orders and purchases needed for The Big Day. Also, be sure to get your own outfit sorted now so you have time freed up closer to the day to give your undivided attention and assistance to the bride.


  • What colour should the mother of the bride wear? You’ll want your outfit to coordinate with the bridal party, but you don’t need to match the hue exactly. In fact, it can be far more flattering and complementary to wear a shade that coordinates without being a match. For example, if the bridal party is wearing capri blue, an eggplant shade would be a great choice. If the bridal party is wearing a trendy coral pink, a demure mocha brown outfit would be the perfect choice. Tie it all together with a matching bag and shoes and you’re all set!
  • Let the mother of the groom know. Tradition states that the mother of the bride should buy their dress first, then let the mother of the groom know. Nowadays, it’s more a matter of politeness to give the mother of the groom an idea of what you’re wearing; it can help her decide what she should wear!
Stage Four:

Goal: Be Supermum and enjoy!
When the big day finally arrives, you’ve got a balancing act to perform. Don’t worry; it’s one you’ve been doing every day since you became a mother! You need to find time to enjoy yourself, while also being your daughter’s rock.

Take note of this checklist of essentials for any mother of the bride to have to hand on the day of the wedding:


  • Bridal emergency kit. The Maid of Honour should have this covered, but you’re the mother of the bride — you need to be the one ready if others forget! B Wedding Invitations suggests you keep a little kit to hand containing:
    • Mints
    • Tweezers
    • Hair ties
    • A mini sewing kit
    • Perfume
    • Tissues
    • Phone numbers for the vendors
    • The itinerary
    • Of course, you already have a pack of baby wipes in your handbag.
  • Speech notes. As the mother of the bride, you’ll no doubt be expected to make a little speech at some stage of the proceedings. Remember to bring those all-important notes!

You’ll be the first port of call for many people on the day, but don’t forget to enjoy yourself too!